"Love makes us stupid...I'm being extremely stupid for doing this and I know I'm going to regret later but her happiness is more important than mine. I'd rather see her happy with someone else than see her suffer for being with me."

Confusions...keke

This post is random (probably because I'm already going crazy because of my research paper and an exam tomorrow). Before anything else Happy? Valentines day. I do hope everyone is happy. Valentines day is not only for people with a significant other, it's for everyone who knows how to love and is being loved. Anyway...confusions...what about it? Well...I am very confused. There are soooooooooo many things making me confused right now...N.O.W. I just don't know what to do in my life anymore? Okay. I want to be a better person for the sake of everybody. I always say that I want change this habbit...I want to change that habbit but I always find myself on the starting line. There are just some things that I can't let go of. It's hard to let go of things that make you happy right? right? Story of my life bro. I just can't move on from certain things: childhood, high school, kpop, exams, etc. Errr. I seriously need to get a life (and finish my LRP).

Random

I've been so into k-pop lately that I've forgotten how much fun it is to go outside. Last Sunday my NASC3 class went to Enchanted Kingdom to shoot our music video, which is a class requirement, and to have fun. Frankly, I first thought that I wouldn't enjoy the trip because I have no HS batchmate from my class but I was wrong because I had tons of fun. From the time when we were shooting our MV and to the moment when we were already allowed to enjoy the theme park by ourselves I was happy. I guess being with some upperclass students made me enjoy the trip since Ate Lara, Ate Arnie, and Ate Ella treated me like their little sister.

Would you remember me?

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

The title is totally irrelevant to my post. It so happens that I'm listening to the song "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" right now so I decided to entitle my post to it. Anyway, I'm a little bit confused lately. As you all know I'm currently writing a love story and even though I'm not yet half way through with it I already have a certain ending to it in my mind. The problem is after watching a couple of tearjerker Korean movies I'm having second thoughts about how I should end my story. Kill the girl? Give her amnesia maybe? My original ending is to actually kill my protagonist because, as weird as it is, I love tragic endings but now I'm really having these second thoughts. Somehow I still want a sad ending but I'm thinking if I should still kill my protagonist.

Okay. It goes like this: The girl moves to America because she wants to find cure for her disease. She leaves her country without telling her friends nor her boyfriend. She will be gone for three years and will only return to her country because, apparently, her illness is incurable and she will die soon. When she returns she will opt not to tell anyone about her impending death or her reason for leaving three years ago. Of course her friends and the one she loves will notice some changes in her but she will always brush off their comments. Blah Blah Blah. Then one day, while the girl is hanging out with her friends she will lose consciousness then she'll be taken to the hospital and BOOM the revelation will happen. Tears will be shed, confessions will be made, etc.. The girl's one true love will be heartbroken but will accept everything because the girl will ask that from him and instead of being sad until the girl dies, One True Love will do everything so that his girl will be happy in her remaining days in the world. He will celebrate both of their birthdays early and also Christmas and Valentines day. He's doing that because he knows that he won't be able to celebrate these events on their real dates thus they'll just celebrate early. Blah Blah Blah. Then the girl will die on the beach while on the back of her True Love. Etc Etc Etc. The epilogue will be seven years later where a letter will be sent to Mr. One True Love and the girl's other friends. The letter was written while the girl is in America and on the letter the girl tells her friends the WHOLE truth (yeah. i know there was already a revelation but i really want to do this). Everyone will cry because the girl's most treasured memories are written in the letter. Even those events that people are most likely to forget. (Note: the letter is relevant because the girl's sickness involves slight memory loss and because she was afraid that all her precious memories will disappear she writes them in a letter).

So that was my original ending but it's constantly being altered. Like for example her True Love having a girlfriend when she returns or all her friends pretending not to know she's sick for her sake. Anyway, my entry ends here. This is just a random thing and if you don't want to read it you don't have to.

Another love story

Letting her go is probably the best thing to do. He made her suffer for a long time anyway and he broke his promise: he left her alone. He thought hard about their situation. His girlfriend was left alone for two years because he was on coma and wouldn't wake up. During those two years she was loyal to him. She never lost hope that he'll recover even if his other friends already gave up on him. She always stayed by his side. But when he woke up there was another guy. A guy who was head over heels in love with his girlfriend. A guy who was begging him to let the girl he loves go. He got angry at that guy. Who does he think he is anyway? But he saw that his girlfriend was concerned with that stupid guy. Maybe she was in love with him too. He was probably the one who stayed by her side when he didn't...the one who made her smile when he couldn't...the one who was there.

He had no idea on what was going on in his girlfriend's mind. Is she just staying with him because she loves him or because she pities him since his family abandoned him? One night he asked her who she would save if they were drowning: him or the other guy? His girlfriend replied: IT WILL ALWAYS BE YOU. IF I HAVE TO CHOOSE FROM HIM OR YOU THE ANSWER WOULD BE YOU. IF I HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THE WHOLE WORLD AND YOU IT WILL STILL BE YOU. He knew that his girlfriend was telling the truth and it made him feel relieved.

Untitled

Since this is my blog I think it's only write that I post entries that describe me. Right now I'm a writer in a 'writer's block' because I can't write anything decent these days. So many stories pop in to my mind and while I'm thinking about plots and characters I really feel that it's going to be a good story but the problem is when I try to put my story into words on paper my mind goes blank. I can't write decent introductions, I can't describe my characters properly, and sometimes I find my stories going absolutely nowhere. I don't know how writers like J.K Rowling can write novels with hundreds of pages. They must have a huge imagination and a lot of paper and patience while writing. I'm a really impatient person. Right now, while I'm writing this I think that my writing sucks because I find it hard to organize ideas.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I think that I'm an awful writer. I envy my friend who can write smoothly and use extravagant words. I find it hard doing those kind of things. I think that my term paper is crap, my essays suck, my ideas are rotten, and my thoughts are messy. Okay, I'm going to stop belittling myself now.